Where's the beef???????

The thing with edible panties is that if I'm going to have to eat something that's been girding my partner's loins for the last half hour, I don't want it to taste like a warm Fruit Roll-Up. I want to chow down on something meatily delicious—like this pair of Brief Jerky.

Concocted by Instructables user Carleyy, each pair of jerked briefs is made from two pounds of ground beef and various seasonings held together with Slim Jim laces. The process is straightforward, akin to making conventional jerky—but, you know, with the added step of crafting a garment from the out of the dehydrated meat product. Be warned though, the project does require a dehydrator and at least 12 hours of prep time so if you're fixing to fabricate a flesh-flavored loincloth for Valentines Day, you'll want to plan ahead.

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(Reuters) - Instead of plunging headfirst to their death in a pot of boiling water, 534 live lobsters escaped the dinner plate and belly flopped to freedom into the dark waters of the Atlantic Ocean.

Free, free at last!! 

A group of Tibetan Buddhists flanked the sides of a whale-watching boat at dusk on Wednesday, sprayed the lobsters with blessed water, clipped the bands binding their dangerous claws and released them one by one into the deep water below.

The 30 Buddhists of all ages trekked to this northern Massachusetts fishing hub to buy 600 pounds of lobster from a seafood wholesaler and save the critters from imminent death.

The lobster liberation was scheduled for August 3, which is Wheel Turning Day on this year's Tibetan lunar calendar, the anniversary of the first sermon Buddha taught. On this holiday, the merit for positive actions is multiplied many times.

"Even if they get captured again, they've had a longer life," said Wendy Cook, former director at the Kurukulla Center for Tibetan Buddhist Studies in Medford, north of Boston.

Buddhists from the center typically liberate masses of the expensive seafood a couple times each year.

Cook, a yoga instructor, led a ceremony that included prayers, mantras and walking boxes of the lobsters in a circle around blessed objects. This develops a karmic connection for the animals' future lifetimes and help ease future suffering, she said.

Monk Geshe Tenley, Kurukulla Center's resident teacher, who was wearing a saffron robe, released the first lobster.

In India, Geshe Tenley said, cows, sheep and even goats are purchased and saved from slaughter. But here in New England, saving the lobsters and extending their lives -- even if just for an hour -- is most practical and a real way the group can make a difference in the lobsters' existence and their own.

"It's rethinking the way you normally see these creatures," said Victoria Fan, a graduate student who participated in the ceremony steps away from a sign for $15.99 lobster dinners.

"You're supposed to view them equally. Their happiness is as important as your happiness, their suffering is as important as your suffering," Fan said.

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ANCHORAGE, Alaska — Authorities say a mysterious orange-colored substance has washed up on the shores of a remote village in northwest Alaska.

Tests have been conducted on the substance on the surface of the water in Kivalina (KIV'-uh-LEE'-nuh). City Administrator Janet Mitchell told The Associated Press that the substance has also shown up in some residents' rain buckets.

Coast Guard Petty Officer David Mosely tells KTUU that it's not a petroleum substance and it's not man-made. Mitchell says the village is requesting that an algae expert from the University of Alaska Fairbanks investigate.

Pictures taken by resident Mida Swan show an orange sheen across the harbor and on beaches in the village about 625 miles northwest of Anchorage.

Swan says she didn't smell anything odd when she dipped her hand into the substance

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The US Postal Service warned on Friday that it could default on payments it owes the federal government, just days after the US government itself narrowly averted a default.

The government's mail service said it lost $3.1 billion in the period from April to June, blaming "the anemic state of the economy" and the growing popularity of electronic communications over old-fashioned letters.

As a result of its mounting losses, the US Postal Service said it would not be able to make a legally required $5.5 billion payment in September to a health-benefits trust fund.

"Absent substantial legislative change, the Postal Service will be forced to default on payments to the federal government," it said in a statement.

Dating back to 1775, the US Postal Service was once a crucial branch of the federal government, but in recent years it has come under increasing fire from critics who consider it bureaucratic and inefficient.

In July, it unveiled plans to identify nearly 3,700 under-used post offices around the United States for possible closure. The Post Office has been hemorrhaging billions of dollars in recent years.

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CHICAGO, Ill. (WLS) - Breast-feeding moms across Illinois and the nation plan to join an international attempt to break a world Breast-feeding record.

The "Big Latch-On" is part of the World Health Organization's World Breastfeeding Week and is being sponsored, in part, by La Leche League USA.

Mothers around the world plan to gather at 10 a.m. Saturday for simultaneous breast-feeding.

National "Big Latch-On" coordinator Annie Brown tells WLS Radio that the goal is to change the stigma and culture of breastfeeding in the United States.

“I would like every baby to have access to its mother’s milk, to change the environment in the U.S. as being a bottle feeding culture,” Brown explained, “To change the culture so that breast feeding is normal.”

Organizers say the number to beat was set in October 2010, when 9,826 nursing mothers were recorded at 325 sites in 16 countries.

In Chicago, mothers are being asked to gather in Millennium Park.

A mother in Pekin Illinois, Autumn Stowell, said she plans to participate in the "Big Latch-On" to raise awareness about the importance of breast-feeding.

Brown discussed why she thinks people get so worked up over seeing a mother breast feeding in public, “I think that because people are so uptight about that, they are so used to seeing babies being fed by a bottle, we are really a bottle feeding culture.”

Brown adds people become extremely uncomfortable when seeing a mother breast feed but that they are putting their own comfort levels above the comfort of the babies.

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NIGHTMARE ON WALL ST

Dow’s losing streak now in ninth day

Even gold was down

 
Dow’s losing streak unmatched since 1978

Not Since Jimmy Carter was president

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Han Solo has got to find a better parking spot for the Millenium Falcon. Swedish researchers have discovered an unidentified object that looks strangely like the ship on the floor of the Baltic Sea.

While searching through ship wreckage for cases of rare champagne, the Ocean Explorer team, led by researcher Peter Lindberg, stumbled across a large, round object, 300 feet beneath the ocean. Details are scant; budget limitations prevented Lindberg and his team from taking a closer at the orb.

"You see a lot of weird stuff in the job, but during my 18 years a s a professional I have never seen anything like this," Lindberg said. "The shape is completely round."

Ocean Explorer released blurry images that show that the circle is about 60 feet in diameter, surrounded by marks that, as CNET notes, "almost look like a skidded landing area." There has been rampant speculation that it could be a UFO. It might be more alluring to postulate that the object came from space, but there is more than likely an explanation that is based more on logic and less on science fiction or cult film lore.

It could be the wreckage from a battleship, a ring from an underwater volcano, or a flooded archeological site, but the images are muddled enough to leave room for imagination.

Lindberg has refrained from hypothesizing on what the object could be, perhaps allowing the tale to grow.

"It's up to the rest of the world to decide what it is," he said of the item he theorizes "might be a new Stonehenge."

But the answers may come eventually. People are so intrigued by the mystery that donations have poured in, and the Ocean Explorer has received enough money to finance a voyage to the depths of the Baltic Sea to investigate, CNETsays.

Meanwhile, George Lucas has yet to offer his two cents.

By Leslie Horn

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STOCKHOLM (AP) -- A Swedish man who was arrested after trying to split atoms in his kitchen said Wednesday he was only doing it as a hobby.

Richard Handl told The Associated Press that he had the radioactive elements radium, americium and uranium in his apartment in southern Sweden when police showed up and arrested him on charges of unauthorized possession of nuclear material.

The 31-year-old Handl said he had tried for months to set up a nuclear reactor at home and kept a blog about his experiments, describing how he created a small meltdown on his stove.

Only later did he realize it might not be legal and sent a question to Sweden's Radiation Authority, which answered by sending the police.

"I have always been interested in physics and chemistry," Handl said, adding he just wanted to "see if it's possible to split atoms at home."

The police raid took place in late July, but police have refused to comment. If convicted, Handl could face fines or up to two years in prison.

Although he says police didn't detect dangerous levels of radiation in his apartment, he now acknowledges the project wasn't such a good idea.

"From now on, I will stick to the theory," he said.

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ROCKAWAY, NJ (WCBS 880) - Ordering “extra sugar” at the Dunkin’ Donuts along Route 46 in Rockaway Township apparently got you more than just a sweet cup of coffee.

Police say 29-year-old Melissa Redmond, of nearby Mine Hill, was arrested for selling sex while working late night shifts at the store after soliciting sex from a undercover officer.

Does this photo really need a caption?

Police Det. Sgt. Kyle Schwarzmann said Redmond would go out to cars in the parking lot and spend 15 to 20 minutes in the vehicles.

“Whatever sexual act you want, there was a price for it,” says Schwarzmann.

"And another $20 will buy me what?"

Local residents were relieved the operation was put to an end.

“It’s good they caught her. I mean, that’s horrible. You doing things like this and then you’re going inside serving the people,” says regular customer Al, one of many in stopping by in disbelief.

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Sometimes, the best way to remember those who've passed on to the great unknown is to look at photographs. Or write a poem. Or leave flowers at their headstone. Or shoot them out of a gun.

Holy Smoke has a very niche business. For $1,250, they'll cram the incinerated leftovers of your dead amigo into a nice load of ammo. And there's something for everyone! One pound of human ash plus your bereaved cash will yield 250 shotgun shells, 100 rifle cartridges, or 250 pistol cartridges. But wait, there's more:

(Mantle-worthy, finished, wooden handcrafted boxes with labels are available for an additional $100.00 per box for either shotshells or cartridges.)

And what will those labels say, I wonder? "My aunt is in these shotgun shells."

An account of the company's creation by one of its founders reveals that he is clearly some sort of lunatic:

My friend smiled and said "You know I've thought about this for some time and I want to be cremated. Then I want my ashes put into some turkey load shotgun shells and have someone that knows how to turkey hunt use the shotgun shells with my ashes to shoot a turkey. That way I will rest in peace knowing that the last thing that one turkey will see is me, screaming at him at about 900 feet per second."

 

Yes, this sounds normal and not at all fucking creepy and sick. If I could have my ashes inserted inside a hydrogen bomb, however, then we'd be talking.

Aside from being kind of perverse, Holy Smoke's business would be an excellent premise for some sort of revenge killing film. You murdered my dog. And now, Mr. Pooftail's ashes are about to blow your head off.

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Rachel Avila, 30, of Banning, CA thought the .22-caliber North American Arms "derringer style" revolver was a cigarette lighter, police said. She pulled the trigger twice, the second time the gun fired, and the round ricocheted off the ground.

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By Mark Davenport

BONNEAU, S.C. (WCSC) - A Bonneau woman wanted to make a statement, so she decorated her truck with a set of red plastic testicles. And now a jury gets to decide if she was exercising free speech or being just obscene.

Virginia Tice was given a $445 ticket July 5 that accuses her of violating the state's obscene bumper sticker law.

And other than a hefty fine, the ticket is causing a huge controversy that extends far past the Bonneau city limits.

"To me it's just a personal expression," says John Caddell. "My truck's got power."

Caddell is another proud owner of the conversation starters. He says whether it's good or bad, his pair of chrome truck ornaments is driving a heated debate.

Virginia Tice of Bonneau was given a $445 ticket for displaying big plastic testicles like these on the back of her pickup truck. (Source: Flickr)

It's a bigger issue now because of Bonneau Chief of Police Franco Fuda ticketing Tice for what he says the law defines as obscene.

"Genitalia is offensive," says Chief Fuda. "As a law enforcement officer, I'll advise that person if it warrants a citation I'll issue a citation. As a father, I wouldn't want my daughter looking at it."

The South Carolina code of laws says "a sticker, decal or emblem is indecent when it describes, in a patently offensive way... sexual acts, excretory functions or parts of the human body."

Caddell says he must interpret the law differently than Police Chief Fuda.

"My interpretation is they're talking about human body parts," says Caddell. "I don't think these are human body parts... it looks like a chrome plated door knocker."

Tice's attorney, Scott Bischoff, expects a trial next month and says his client is still angry with the incident.

"My clients conduct was not illegal," says Bischoff. "We believe it was blown way out of proportion. She is still upset about the situation because she believes she's been treated unfairly."

Bischoff says there's no date set for Tice's jury trial, the attorney filed for a continuance they are confident will be accepted to bypass the original trial date of August 3.

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JOHANNESBURG (AP) - A South African health official says a man awoke to find himself in a morgue fridge — nearly a day after his family thought he had died.

Health department spokesman Sizwe Kupelo said Monday that the man awoke Sunday afternoon, 21 hours after his family called in an undertaker who sent him to the morgue after an asthma attack.

Kupelo says the man started yelling, prompting morgue workers to run away in fear. They eventually returned and removed him from the fridge. He was then taken to a nearby hospital and later discharged by doctors who deemed him stable.

The mortuary owner says his family is very happy to have him home.

Kupelo urged South Africans to call on health officials to confirm that their relatives are really dead.

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Nine percent of humans everywhere except Africa may be part Neanderthal

Many modern-day humans may be carrying around a fragment of Neanderthal DNA on one of their sex chromosomes, a new study finds. 

The research adds a piece of corroborating evidence to the theory that Neanderthals and humans interbred sometime after humans migrated out of Africa between 50,000 and 80,000 years ago. The DNA fragment, found on the human X chromosome, is present in 9 percent of humans across the world from Asia to Europe to America — except in Africa, where it does not appear.

"It's in the Middle East, it's in Europe, it's in Eurasia, it's in America, it's in Australia," study researcher Damian Labuda of the University of Montreal told LiveScience. "This one event which led to this on the human X chromosome has to occur very early after modern man left Africa."

 

Mating with Neanderthals

Labuda got his first sign of the interbreeding about a decade ago when he discovered a snippet of DNA on the X chromosome found only in non-Africans and whose origin was unknown. (X chromosomes are sex chromosomes; women have two and men have one, paired with a Y chromosome.)

But until 2010 the group didn't have anything to compare the snippet with. That year, the Neanderthal genome was sequenced, and a team of researchers (not including Labuda) reported in the journal Science that between 1 and 4 percent of the genome of some modern humans hails from Neanderthals, stocky hominids who lived between 130,000 and 30,000 years ago.

That 2010 study used DNA extracted from Neanderthal bones found in Croatia. With the new availability of a partial Neanderthal gene sequence from Croatia, Labuda and his team had something to compare their mysterious X chromosome fragment with.

Neanderthal genes

"Dr. Labuda and his colleagues were the first to identify a genetic variation that was likely to have come from an archaic population," David Reich, a Harvard School of Medicine geneticist who worked on the original Neanderthal sequencing project, said in a statement. "This was done entirely without the Neanderthal genome sequence, but in light of the Neanderthal sequence, it is now clear that they were absolutely right."

The next challenge, Labuda said, is to tease out whether Neanderthal DNA made a difference to the ability of early humans to survive and thrive.

"It is interesting to know how many of these fragments there are, where they are, what they are doing," Labuda said. "Are they neutral like the one which we have found, or do they provide some functional addition and could be maybe beneficial?"

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By Heather Buchman, Meteorologist

Jul 21, 2011; 6:46 AM ET

"It's like getting slapped in the face

with a wet sponge when you walk outside"

Marilyn_Monroe_Performing_'Heat_Wave'.mp3 Listen on Posterous

Another sweltering heat wave is gripping a large part of the U.S., with at least 17 states hitting the 100-degree mark Tuesday and more than 40 surpassing 90°.

"When all is said and done, with the number of days of extreme heat and humidity of the current heat wave, it may be more significant and impact a larger area than the deadly 1995 heat wave of July 12-15," according to Expert Senior Meteorologist Jim Andrews.

While it's already hot on the East Coast, the worst is on its way.

Areas along the Northeast's heavily-populated Interstate 95 corridor will have highs near or higher than 100° by the end of the week as the steamy air spreads eastward from the Plains.

What is so impressive about this heat wave is the humidity that is accompanying it. Even places such as Minneapolis, Minn., have had AccuWeather.com RealFeel® temperatures rising near 120°!

Minneapolis set an all-time record Tuesday when the dew point temperature, which provides an indication of how humid the air is, reached 82°.

"It's like getting slapped in the face with a wet sponge when you walk outside," said AccuWeather.com Senior Meteorologist Bernie Rayno. "The thing about this heat wave is you have the heat... you have the humidity... and you have no wind."

With no wind during the day and temperatures not even dropping below 80° at night in many places, there is no relief. Air conditioners are running 24 hours a day.

By the end of the week, people in New York City, Philadelphia and Washington, D.C., will face RealFeel® temperatures at or above 110°.

"Temperatures will topple 100° in the big cities," stated AccuWeather.com Senior Meteorologist Henry Margusity in reference to the Northeast. "It's the hottest weather these cities have had since last July."

Factors behind the Heat Wave

The positioning of the jet stream (an area of maximum winds high above the ground) is the major player in heat waves. When there is what meteorologists call a large "ridge" in the jet stream, areas that lie under that ridge can experience heat waves.

"A ridge is essentially a big bubble of hot air," Margusity explained.

A ridge is currently located over the central U.S. and has been sending temperatures soaring above 100° from Texas to Montana and the Dakotas and into the upper 90s farther east early this week. Winds have generally been light across this region as well.

A cold front moving through the northern Plains will provide some cooling for Montana, the Dakotas and Minnesota, as well as generate stronger winds ahead of its arrival.

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An Austrian atheist has won the right to be shown on his driving-licence photo wearing a pasta strainer as "religious headgear".

Niko Alm first applied for the licence three years ago after reading that headgear was allowed in official pictures only for confessional reasons.  

Mr Alm said the sieve was a requirement of his religion, pastafarianism.

Later a police spokesman explained that the licence was issued because Mr Alm's face was fully visible in the photo.

"The photo was not approved on religious grounds. The only criterion for photos in driving licence applications is that the whole face must be visible," said Manfred Reinthaler, a police spokesman in Vienna.

He was speaking on Wednesday, after Austrian media had first reported Mr Alm's reason for wearing the pasta strainer.

After receiving his application the Austrian authorities had required him to obtain a doctor's certificate that he was "psychologically fit" to drive.

According to Mr Reinthaler, "the licence has been ready since October 2009 - it was not collected, that's all there is to it".

The idea came into Mr Alm's noodle three years ago as a way of making a serious, if ironic, point.

A self-confessed atheist, Mr Alm says he belongs to the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, a light-hearted, US-based faith whose members call themselves pastafarians.

The group's website states that "the only dogma allowed in the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster is the rejection of dogma".

In response to pressure for American schools to teach the theory known as intelligent design, which some Christians favour as an alternative to natural selection, the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster wrote to the Kansas School Board asking for the pastafarian version of intelligent design to be taught to schoolchildren.

Straining credulity

In the same spirit, Mr Alm's pastafarian-style application for a driving licence was a response to the Austrian recognition of confessional headgear in official photographs.

The licence took three years to come through and, according to Mr Alm, he was asked to submit to a medical interview to check on his mental fitness to drive but - straining credulity - his efforts have finally paid off.

It is the police who issue driving licences in Austria, and they have duly issued a laminated card showing Mr Alm in his unorthodox item of religious headgear.

When asked for his reaction to Mr Reinthaler's comments, Mr Alm told the broadcaster ORF: "I didn't know I was guilty of not collecting it. That doesn't alter the fact that it still took nearly a year [to be issued]".

The next step, Mr Alm told the Austrian news agency APA, is to apply to the Austrian authorities for pastafarianism to become an officially recognised faith.

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Found dead handcuffed to water bed; death likely accidental, coroner says

CLEVELAND — An exotic-animal owner who made headlines last summer when one of his bears mauled a woman to death has died after apparently choking on a sex toy, authorities said.

Sam Mazzola, 49, was found dead in his Columbia Station home on Sunday, face down on a water bed. He was bound to the bed with handcuffs, chains and padlocks, Lorain County Chief Deputy Coroner Dr. Frank Miller told the Cleveland Plain Dealer.

Sam Mazzola

Mazzola had a sex toy in his throat, which apparently obstructed his breathing, Miller said. He was also wearing a leather mask with the eyes and mouth zipped shut and a two-piece metal sphere covering his head, the coroner told The Morning Journal.

"He had done this by request according to the story we were given,” Miller told The Morning Journal. “There was an assistant, but that is under investigation.”

It appeared Mazzola died from an "accident during sexual role play," Miller told the Plain Dealer.

"No Sam, I don't think we should kiss while I have this on."

An autopsy determined the preliminary cause of death was asphyxia due to airway obstruction by foreign body. Suicide and homicide have been ruled out. "The manner of death is pending further investigation and will be released when the case is finalized,” the coroner’s office said in a press release.

Sheriff’s detective Mike Lopez told The Morning Journal that a teenage co-worker found Mazzola’s body.

He said someone else was at the home and helped Mazzola with the bondage but had left before he died.

“It was an unattended death,” Miller told the Journal.

No one has been charged in the death, which Lopez said was not suspicious.

Mazzola has been in the news in the past because of his ownership and exhibitions of wild animals, which he kept man on his property southwest of Cleveland.

In August, one of his black bears fatally mauled Brent Kandra , 24, of Elyria, after Kandra opened the bear’s enclosure for a routine feeding.

Kandra's death was ruled a workplace accident. The bear was euthanized.

© 2011 msnbc.com

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Police: Wife attacked husband after drugging, tying him to bed

JULY 12--In the year’s most horrifying police press release, cops in Garden Grove, California describe how a woman last night allegedly cut off her husband’s penis.

According to investigators, Catherine Kieu Becker, 48, “used an unknown type poison and/or drug in the male’s food to make him sleepy. She tied him to the bed and as he woke the female cut off his penis" with a 10-inch kitchen knife. Becker, pictured in the mug shot at right, then allegedly “tossed the penis…in the garbage disposal and turned the disposal to the ‘on’ position.”

The 51-year-old victim, who is in the midst of a divorce from Becker, told detectives that he “believed something was wrong with his food.” After lying down and falling asleep, cops reported that the man awoke to his wife “tugging his clothes off. The suspect grabbed the victim’s penis and cut it off.” 

Becker, who called 911, reportedly told officers that her husband “deserved it.” The man was transported to a local hospital where he underwent emergency surgery and is in serious condition.

In mid-May, citing “irreconcilable differences,” Becker’s husband filed a petition seeking to end the childless couple’s 16-month marriage, according to Orange County Superior Court records. The man, who reported separating from his wife on April 1, filed for divorce without the aid of an attorney. His only listed assets were a Garden Grove condominium that is underwater by $34,000, and a Toyota Prius whose debt outstrips its market value by $3000.

Arrested for aggravated mayhem, false imprisonment, assault with a deadly weapon, and other counts, Becker was booked into the Orange County jail, where she is being held in lieu of $1 million bail.

Ringo_Starr_You_Always_Hurt_the_One_You_Love.mp3 Listen on Posterous

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First lady Michelle Obama, 2011. (WhiteHouse.gov)

First lady Michelle Obama, 2020?????.  Too many shakes and fries.

Updated: Monday, 11 Jul 2011, 4:05 PM EDT
Published : Monday, 11 Jul 2011, 4:01 PM EDT

By NewsCore

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Jack Loftus----The Big Dig, a Boston engineering boondoggle that's national news mostly because you helped us pay for it, is basically a death trap. It's killed people already, and some precariously perched lights were preparing to off a few more.

Lucky for us (Boston residents, Logan airport traffic and daily visitors), an investigative report by the Boston Globe has sped up the maintenance of this poorly constructed tunnel system, which was apparently on the verge of sending a few more immense 110-lb. lighting fixtures into the roadway of the Ted Williams tunnel seemingly any day now.

And yes, I said "a few more." One already fell last winter, although no one was hurt, which is great because the tunnel and its surrounding guard rails are already responsible for at least two deaths in the last few years:

The Big Dig already had a tragic experience with dangerous falling objects. A tunnel ceiling panel had collapsed in 2006, killing a woman a few hundred yards from where the nine corroded fixtures were discovered on Feb. 16. State engineers had no way of knowing how many more of the 25,000 lights in the Big Dig tunnels had become unstable - and plenty of reason to fear that corrosion was widespread after years of saltwater leaking into the tunnels.

What's even worse than a massive ceiling light falling on your car while you're driving at speed is the fact that, had the Globe reporters not started snooping around, we wouldn't have known engineers and even members of the local government were covering things up, not reporting their findings or ineptly dragging their feet:

Internal e-mails and Transportation Department reports obtained by the Globe show that last winter's light fixture collapse presented a more hazardous situation than Secretary Jeffrey B. Mullan disclosed to the public, and one that could add $200 million to the already-gargantuan price of the Big Dig.

State records also show that his agency's attempt to solve the problem was both more secretive and sluggish than he admitted. Engineers, led by Mullan's close associate Helmut Ernst, didn't even send the fallen fixture to a lab for analysis until March 16, instead leaving the crucial piece of evidence in a South Boston maintenance facility along with mounds of road debris.

Mullan's changed his story already and sacked some patsy named Frank Tramontozzi, who was an engineer on duty when Mullan's close associate Helmut Ernst was on family leave. Ernst, for his part, allowed the fallen light fixture to languish in a South Boston debris heap until March 16, instead of sending it to a lab for corrosive analysis immediately after the incident last winter.

Oh, and the bill's going to be about $200 million. We still don't know why the lights corroded prematurely. It could be road salt or it could be the sea water that constantly seeps into the tunnel system and already costs the city $12 million to pump out every year.

Thank you, America, for helping us build the crown jewel of our city's transportation system. It was a federally-funded project.

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